


Lost On You

by cafedanslanuit



Series: Mystic Messenger Angst Week 2020 [2]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, F/M, Fights, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:41:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27714922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cafedanslanuit/pseuds/cafedanslanuit
Summary: A discussion about how to handle Saeran's recovery turns into the worst fight Saeyoung and MC have ever had. Both of them bring back past memories that should have never been talked about, in a desperate try to prove their point, not noticing how much they're tearing their relationship apart.
Relationships: 707 | Choi Luciel/Main Character
Series: Mystic Messenger Angst Week 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2026001
Comments: 10
Kudos: 34





	Lost On You

**Author's Note:**

> _Wish that I could see the machinations / Understand the toil of expectations / In your mind / Hold me like you never lost your patience / Tell me that you love me more than hate me / All the time / And you're still mine_ [Lost on you - LP]

“You’re being just like your father.”

“Well, at least I have one.”

Saeyoung and MC both stare at each other, the latter one with her mouth agape. She lowers her eyes to the ground and then quickly assesses the empty living room, still trying to process her lover’s words.

“The fuck did you say to me?” she spits.

“I’m saying that if your father had stuck around maybe you wouldn’t be so inclined to stay around like a lost puppy.”

“That’s fucking rich coming from you,” she laughes coldly. She walks to the kitchen and pours herself a glass of water, ignoring the sounds of footsteps right behind her.

“What? Because I’m right?,” Saeyoung counters. She takes a sip of her glass before responding.

“No, Saeyoung. If we’re going to talk about fucked up parents, then your mother takes the prize,” she hisses. MC doesn’t even register when Saeyoung snatches the glass of water away from her hand and puts it back on the table.

“At least I don’t latch onto the first person that is nice to me like you.”

The knot on her throat tightens, a sour taste on her mouth as she listens to his words. Her mind provides more and more ideas to hurt him back, yet the sole thought of hurting someone she loves so much leaves her heart in agony.

“Should have latched onto Zen, then. He wouldn’t be saying this shit to me,” she says, turning on her heel to face him. Saeyoung squints at her and she knows it was a low blow. But fuck it. He should have known before testing her.

Saeyoung’s face expression twitches and then he storms back to the living room. MC watches him start taping the opened boxes laying on the floor. The moving truck was coming tomorrow and the empty living room is a living proof of that. They were going to move with Saeran to a bigger and safer space than the underground bunker Saeyoung had been living in, and her heart had been filled with hope things were going to change. At least she hoped they did.

MC had noticed him starting to get away from her touch for the past couple of months, and had decided to let him be, knowing he was still trying to adapt to his new living situation with his brother and away from the agency. But every day, no matter what she did, his eyes became colder, his body always moving away from hers, to the point she found him sleeping at the living room once when he could have slept in the bed they shared as they used to do.

“What’s going on, Sae?”

He stays in silence, closing the box and ignoring her words.

“I just want Saeran to be happy. And you throwing money at the problem isn’t going to help him,” she explains, crouching down to the floor at his same level. “That’s why I said to stop being like your father, stop thinking money can fix something. He’s hurting, Sae. He needs to talk to someone, he needs professional help. And I understand you are afraid someone will get to him if he shares too much during his appointments. I understand, I do, but you need to let him get help. He needs it. And you sending more and more money to his account so he can buy himself stuff isn’t going to help him. Money can’t help Saeran.”

He doesn’t say a word, and even when he finishes closing down the boxes, he stays sitting on the floor, looking at them in a daze. MC sighs and puts a hand on his shoulder, but he quickly jerks his body away from her touch.

“Don’t talk like you know him.”

“But I know Saeran. I’ve helped him all this time, I’m the one who takes him to the doctor and I’m the one he listens to when he’s having a nightmare. I know Saeran as if he were my family.”

“But he’s not. You’re not a part of this family,” Saeyoung grunts before standing up and walking to the window. It’s closed, the sun almost setting and MC really hopes they can stop fighting before Saeran gets home.

“You told me I was,” she mutters, looking at him from her sitting position. Saeyoung huffs, a venomous smile drawing on his lips.

“I say a lot of shit, MC.”

She can’t no longer hold the tears from falling down her cheeks. Standing up, she walks to him, not caring anymore if she can see her cry. She’s avoided that at all costs, but now she can’t care anymore.

“Okay. I’m not family but…” she tries to reason. “We’re still us, right? We’re still… Saeyoung and MC. We’re going to get through this, we can--. I know you hate me right now, I do. But we still love each other despite all that. We do, we’re Saeyoung and MC, we--”

“No. We’re not anymore,” he sentences, turning his head and looking straight at her. The honey in his eyes turns into tar, and she feels like she can’t breathe anymore.

“But we--”

“Don’t you get it?” he asks, a tired sigh escaping from his lips. “I don’t even want to fucking kiss you anymore. Hadn’t you noticed how whenever you come close I just kiss your forehead?”

His words make her brain remember every instance Saeyoung pressed his lips against her head. MC remembers walking up to him while he’s cooking, her hands around his waist as she told him sweet nothings. She remembers him turning his head and kissing her forehead. The fond memory turns sour at his words, and she fights off the nausea as one, two, three, too many memories come back, now tainted with his harsh words.

“You’re an asshole,” she whispers, wiping the tears from her face. “You’re such an asshole and a bad person. Why would-- Why would you--” she sniffles, walking away from him. She stops midway in the middle of the living room and turns back at him. “You know what? Fuck you, Saeyoung. Fuck you, fuck you, I’m fucking tired of dealing with this, dealing with you. I know you went through shit and you didn’t deserve that, but guess what? I did too. Being abused is not a fucking excuse to be a piece of shit!” she screams. “All I’ve tried to do is help you and love you, and I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve the way you’re treating me, I don’t--” her voice falters and she braces herself, her whole body shaking with the force of her whimpers.

Saeyoung finally turns his head towards her, watching her break. He knows he should feel upset. A few months ago, the single threaten of a tear would make him lose his mind, running to hold her in his arms. But it had been long since he felt something switch up inside him, the immense love he had been developing towards his lover turning into dust the moment he opened his eyes one morning.

He didn’t know why. She was still the same caring and thoughtful MC that would look after him and his brother, pausing her own life projects to be there for both of them, never complaining or asking for anything in return, even in the times he had turned colder against her.

And he hated it.

Maybe because he thought he didn’t deserve that unconditional love. Maybe because he didn’t understand unconditional love. He wasn’t sure.

But he hated it.

“Then what are you doing here?”

MC looks up at him, raised eyebrows quickly furrowing at his words. She stops holding herself and takes a few steps towards him, her body trembling with rage-

“Saeran is the only fucking reason I’m staying.”

“Then fucking leave!” he yelled. “Go fix someone else’s mess. I bet you feel so good, don’t you?” he asked, a mocking smile on his lips. “All you’ve ever wanted was to fix people. Don’t you think I noticed we were just a fun little project for you? If you have the need to help people around you just so you stop looking at your own reflection in the mirror, then fucking do it. Go look for other people in need and latch yourself onto them, MC, do what you do best.”

MC stares blankly at him for a couple of seconds. There aren’t any new tears forming in her eyes, and somehow that makes it worse. Her shoulders have stopped shaking and now her arms are falling limply against her sides. She nods a couple of times and then walks to the door, grabbing one of her coats and then purse she left hanging there the night before.

One last time, she looks over at the person he thought was the love of her life, his face still empty of emotion and starts wondering when it all started falling apart.

“Good luck finding someone who can love all your rotten edges, Saeyoung,” she mutters.

He laughs coldly, not turning to see her leave.

“Same thing for you.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! c:
> 
> [Tumblr](https://cafedanslanuit.tumblr.com/)


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